Dealing with parents

Dealing with parents can get very tricky at times, especially when you are trying to put across your point with all your passion and enthusiasm and they are just not ready to listen. The frustration that builds up and the mental trauma gets a little too much to handle at times. Or is it? Lets talk about it.

Parental problems occurs mostly because there is a disconnect between what parents think and what the child wants to do. In most cases, children feel that parents have a negative approach while listening to what a child feels. They do not approve of their children's decisions, be it career related or their choice of a holiday, even their choice of a life partner. There is a huge disconnect in what a parent thinks and what a child wants to do with is life. Can you relate to this?

Well, there can be a lot of reasons to face these problems, however, it's perfectly normal to be in such a situation. Many of us either feel helpless and choose to silently cry over the issues or get rebelious and react so as to deliberaly hurt the parent. And over the years, it becomes a child's second nature to do everything which a parent disapproves of, just as a way to prove them wrong, even if it involves hurting outselves in the process.

Most of us feel that our parents never understand and they have a habbit of going against whatever we decide to do. How many of us have actually made an effort to know the reason for parental disapproval? How many of us have taken the pains to make them understand our point of view and talk to them about it? Seldom do we do that, isn't it? Keeping quiet and taking the silent exit is not always helpful, it's always better to have a discussion with parents and a genuine effort needs to be made to make them understand your concern. Again, it's not easy, since over the years parents and children, both have developed a fixed mindset and it's difficult to get the change in a single day, but it's not impossible. Just assuming that it's a waste of time trying to make them understand, is not really helpful. Trying and failing is always better than not trying at all, since the guilt of not having tried at all is even worse.

One of the PRIME reasons why parents always seem "against" us is because of their lack of confidence in our decisions. They feel we are not mature enough to take our decisions, even if it is as small as going for a late night party to maybe deciding our career and even choosing a life partner. Parents feel we are always too young and immature to make the right choice and we may fall for trivial temptations, and therefore gets on the opposite sides of the table. This results in heated arguments, hot debates, calling names, all of which creates an unhealthy environment. But just think about it, everything happens for parent's lack of confidence in us and their concern for us. Had the concern not been there, they wouldn't have reacted this way. What if we make an effort to gain their confidence back and make them realize that we have grown up and are mature enough to take our decisions wisely? What if we take them into confidence and show them that will not fall for small little temptations and make correct choices? Instead of fighting over an argument and creating an unhealthy environment in the house and even having prolonged feeling of guilt, depression, anxiety and tensed situation, we could have easily avoided this had there been an honest and genuine effort to win parent's confidence and a proper communication was established. They will always feel proud of their children having grown up so that they can take their life's decisions and succeed.

Ofcourse, this requires a lot of courage and the maturity to make a genuine effort and take the initiative. It's not easy, and it requires a lot of effort to break the pre-conceived notions a parent has, but with time, it can be achieved. After all, we all are growing up and learning the ways of life. Talk to your parents, take them into confidence on small little matters, make them a part of your life. Be caring, responsible and show them that you've grown up from being an irresponsible child and can take care of things very well. You will notice attitudes melting away for the good.

Even after your best efforts to make things better for yourself and your parents, they still may not be interested in you and your concerns. Or maybe they are too preoccupied to pay an attention to you. Or you may not be able to decide if you should consult your parents for advice, maybe they are not capable to help you with your problems. Maybe you are scared to disclose something to your parents, or you might feel telling them might hurt them badly. Or maybe you're just unable to gather enough strength to approach your parents. It can even be more complex situation and talking to us might help you deal with the situation. We understand there can be specific problems while dealing with parents, and whatever we've written is a generic overview on how to deal with situations so that your parents become more receptive towards you and gain the much needed confidence. Inspite of your best efforts, you may still find yourself in a situation where your parents are just not wanting to be in tune with your thoughts and concerns. Well, talk to us about it. Share with us about your problems and we'll be glad to help. We have been through these situations and we promise to help. Click on the tab below:


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